MOMMY BLOGGERS ARE EXPLOITING AND EXTORTING THEIR KIDS

August 6, 2017
Written by Cat Arambulo-Antonio
Categories: Motherhood, Uncategorized

 

“Mommy bloggers are exploiting and extorting their kids.” is one of the most insensitive, tactless and hurtful things I’ve ever heard since I decided to go full on with social media and blogging. And to tell you honestly, it’s something I won’t take lightly or sitting down.

I’ve actually discussed this with my husband many times. He just laughs at how shallow, ignorant and narrow-minded some people are. He constantly reminds me that the world is much bigger than them and that the problem lies within them and not me (us). I’ve also talked about it with my mommy blogger friends and as slighted as they feel, they just choose to stay mum about it and carry on. But to tell you honestly, I’ve lost sleep over it. I’m bothered, offended and frankly, quite insulted. Technically, it’s a direct attack to me as a blogger, mother and it involves the most important people in my life, my children.

Disclaimer: As much as I know how other mommy bloggers feel about this, everything I’m about to share are MY thoughts, MY words and MY sentiments. I am speaking as a blogger, mother and a woman who will stop at nothing to ensure that my children are safe, secured and protected. Again, I can’t speak for anyone other than MYSELF.

Oh and btw, I had my parents read it and comment. My dad said this, “Your message is best delivered without the unnecessary invectives but with intelligence, objectiveness and not by emotions of the moment. Stay classy!”

TRUTH: There is nothing ever “classy” about a woman’s emotions ~ESPECIALLY if it has anything to do with defending her family and kids!

Disclaimer: I’m about to share myself, #RAW and #UNFILTERED. Words can’t ever express how much this topic pains me and breaks my heart. So, I’m going to tell you EXACTLY what’s on my mind.

WARNING: If you can’t handle MY TRUTH (and words), you’re free to log off and stop reading, NOW.

I think it’s about time that someone finally speaks up to break this cyclical downward EVIL spiral. I’m sharing this for my mommy bloggers friends and as a voice for all mom’s out there who have at one point felt less of a good mother because they’re being judged, bashed, ridiculed and criticized for what they are, and what they’re not. Trust me, you are not alone!

I don’t have time for myself much less have time for this kind of BS. So I’m just going to get straight to the point:

This is for those who consciously judge other parents, criticize them for their parenting style and the others who have the audacity to say that “Mommy Bloggers are EXPLOITING and EXTORTING their kids.”. My name, included. I’ll say it bluntly: How L-O-W can you go??? Because honestly, even if you had half a brain, you’d know that any topic involving another parent & THEIR child is a no fly zone. And seriously, in any language or whatever part of the world you’re in, it’s common courtesy & decency to know that you should NOT cross that line, EVER.

This allegation has been consuming me. It is taking me over 4 days to write this (more like, 2 weeks if it includes today, on/off). And I’ve had to carry this thought with me for months. I just didn’t have the time, energy and the consolidated evidence to act on it yet.

Plus this topic just really leaves a bad taste in my mouth ~bad/negative/evil energy~ and I write it with a heavy heart.

Oh, and it also took time for me to finish it because I’ve been consulting with a lawyer as to how much I can express. As advised: no names, no initials, recordings or screenshots. And NO, I will not be throwing any of my sources…friends and “friends” of friends under the bus. I admire the people who had the delikadesa to break away from all the trash talk. I have the utmost respect for the ones who had the guts to tell me/warn me. I will protect them at all costs!

So to manage expectations, I’ll just be sharing first hand information, facts that directly involve me and of course, my fairly recent experiences.

And really…. at the end of it all, I’m posting this for everyone to see. For the world to read.

And for my children to eventually understand that I want nothing but the BEST for them.

I am sure a lot of mom’s can relate to what I’m about to say…

I am here to guide and support my children through this journey called life. It is my mission that they live, love and enjoy a balanced yet fulfilled life. It is my dream to be able to provide and give them all the opportunities that their hearts could possibly want or desire. I pray everyday that hopefully, I can help them achieve their dreams and make it a reality. I will fight for them, no matter what and I don’t care who!

And lastly, I’m doing this for my peace of mind, so that when my kids grow up and some reckless asshole says an idiotic statement such as “Mommy bloggers are exploiting and extorting their kids.” that statement or any other outrageous allegations will have no bearing or effect on them.

Because they know in their hearts & in their minds that their “Mommy Blogger”… that woman who they call MOM, loves them dearly, fought a damn good fight for them to be THEM (and will continue to fight) and worked her ass off to help them live their dreams.

To the non-mom’s who have the audacity to even comment about parenting and our kids: YOU ARE IRRELEVANT in conversations that involve kids. You can’t relate no matter how much you try. Just go get a manicure, go shopping and find something more productive to do with your time. Kids, especially another person’s kid shouldn’t even be in you vocabulary!

P.S. I can’t wait until you have kids of your own. GOOD LUCK! Don’t read mommy blogs or ask for help ha…. *SMIRK*

To all mothers and co-mommy bloggers: Isn’t child bearing, child rearing and raising a child hard enough?? And at the end of the day, don’t we all dream of an amazing future for our kids? Don’t we all wish that our child lives a happy, balanced & fulfilled life? Don’t you want them to love what they’re doing and be successful? Don’t you pray that they fall in love and find someone who will love them as much or even more than we do? Don’t we work our asses off to provide and try to give the BEST of everything we possibly can?

It doesn’t matter what language we speak, parenting style we choose or path we decide to take. I’m sure we can all agree on one thing:

WE WANT NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR OUR CHILD!

Why can’t parents especially mom’s just support one another? Why does everything have to be a catfight? Why do you need to criticize how another parent raises their child? Whether the parent & child is “public” on social media OR not. People seem to LAMBAST others, regularly. Question: Are you even a parent? Are you perfect? Do you have a perfect child? Look in the mirror and at your child…. tell me. What exactly do you see? Do you seriously feel like you’re God’s gift to mankind? Because I hate to break it to you, YOU’RE NOT!

And to tell you frankly, when I look in the mirror, I know I’m flawed. In fact, half of my life, I f*cked it up. I made a lot of “wrong” decisions (because I didn’t listen to my parents), got into so much trouble and really… I have no one else to blame but myself! But the most important part is that I picked myself up (with the help of my family), got my sh*t together, managed it and strived to do better. And to tell you honestly, to this day… sometimes I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing…. most of the time I just need to clear my head, scream and breathe. I constantly need to align my thoughts and talk to my husband (or parents) to keep myself in check, regularly. I’m telling you, if you leave me alone with my thoughts, I’ll probably drive everyone, including myself — CRAZY!

But one thing’s certain, my head and heart, when it comes to my family ESP my children is ALWAYS at the right place.

My intentions for my children are ALWAYS born out of LOVE.

The rest, I just really hope that I’m making the best decisions for myself, family and children. And I pray (HARD) that it’s the right one!

You shouldn’t allow your child to use an iPad! You need to make your child sleep alone and cry it out to learn how to be more independent! You should enroll you child in more extra curricular activities! You shouldn’t allow your child to wear designer clothes because your teaching them to be materialistic! You shouldn’t feed your child processed food and God forbid, fast food! You shouldn’t bring your child to events because they should be playing in the park! You should organize more play dates with kids your child’s age so he/she can learn to socialize better!!! And the list goes on… !!!!!!!! And just today, I saw an article questioning how some parents can let their kids play in designer clothes? hahahaha!!! SERIOUSLY???

But yes, I totally feel you and without you having to speak, I hear you. I know you’re rolling your eyes, staring with that dagger look and screaming in your head to the top of your lungs: SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s a little side story: A few years ago Asher had a photoshoot for a magazine. He was getting a little grumpy because it was his nap time plus hello…. he’s a kid. So my husband and I busted the “bribe” + conditions. We reminded him about our deal: one small toy for one good photo. Pretty fair deal. So after some pep talk and a little convincing, he smiled, got the shot, bought a small toy, left and took a nap. Done? Done.

Are you joking me?? NOT!!! A few days after the shoot, I find out that one of the girls there, who’s a mother too by the way, commented, “OMG. I can’t believe that “SHE” bought him a toy just to smile for a photo. If I tell my kids to do something, they’re not allowed to complain, they just have to do it. That kid is so spoiled!!! “SHE” needs to discipline her child.”

Random Question: Why do people always seem to blame only a child’s mother. Don’t they realize that usually… or in my case at least, I still run everything by their father, my husband. He is my PARTNER!!!

I was so tempted to call her to give her a piece of my mind, but in the end, I decided that she wasn’t worth it. But at the back of my mind, I was like, “Seriously?! You want to criticize me and compare?? Ha. GAME ON!!! Let’s break this down: Well for me, it’s not about being spoiled, it’s about valuing MUTUAL agreements. You learn that in everyday situations ~start that as young and as early as you can. I love my kids like babies but I try to treat them like adults. Not my f*dog! Oh and plus the fact that I’m “hoping” to raise a leader. Not a blind follower!!!! And what makes you think I don’t discipline? I don’t know you. We’re not friends! And quite frankly, I don’t care if you tell your kids to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and they just jump because as you implied, your kids are, well…. “disciplined”!!!

Yup, that’s clearly my emotions speaking. You can’t imagine how much more I could’ve said. Haha! But mind you, I’m already choosing my words very carefully and trying to be nice. *Wink*

Don’t people get it? Unsolicited advice is NOT welcome. And shouldn’t there be common courtesy from one mother to another? That’s basic manners. Because honestly, I can’t even handle my sh*t. Why would I even want to try to meddle and get into yours. Gosh. I really don’t know what goes through the minds of some people. Unbelievable!

But for the record, if anyone ever tries to pick a fight with me or take a swipe at me kids, I’ll tell you this:

I will never instigate a fight but I will never back down from one.

That word war… my verbal diarhea…. it won’t stop until the one that started it does. Or maybe up until I give a piece of my mind too. A penny for my thoughts? Trust me, I’ll give you more than what you paid for!!!

But on a more serious note: What people don’t realize is that sometimes they’re so quick to judge without seeing the flipside or whole picture. We need to remember that everyone has their OWN reasons. There are always different ways of doing things. And 101 ways of skinning a cat. Who’s to say what’s right or wrong?!

So bottom line, don’t judge and touch on topics that doesn’t involve YOU.

But shoot, in hindsight, good thing I didn’t make that call and stoop down to her level coz that would have been one bloody word war that would’ve gone no where. Ooooops!

Which leads me to this current statement: “Mommy bloggers are exploiting and extorting their kids.” 

Can people not help themselves from having such malicious thoughts? What do people get from trying to bring others down? Why on earth would anyone ever think that, much less say that a mother would have any ill intentions for her child???????? Do YOU have it in your heart/mind to intentionally set your child up for failure?? Can your conscience handle TAKING ADVANTAGE of your own child??? Some people make me SICK. You can’t imagine how much I’m controlling myself from dropping names!!! But, OMFG. Arrrrrrrrgh!!!

I was actually warned about “troll/bashers/haters” followers when I first started blogging. Honestly, “trolls” are not the problem. Plus they’re very short lived. They will NEVER survive the + energy or my most loyal IG friends. For every troll/basher/hater there are thousands of other people that is inspired, supportive and send best wishes. Hello, my IG friends!!!

In January of this year, I heard my name being directly linked… more like dragged with social media, exploit and extort kids. These talks apparently are coming from people running around close circles, “Friends” of friends… and just recently, I heard the same allegations resurface because appparently, it’s has been lingering.

PROOF??? Well, I have various screenshots (people really need to be careful with their messages), a recording (people need to becareful what they say in public places and “friends”) and stories from very good reliable friends……. plus those concerned “friends” (“friends” who are really, well.. “balimbing”) as sources.

At first I just shrugged it off and thought to myself, “Ha! If you only knew. But good thing you don’t, coz then everyone would be TRYING to do it too.” and left it at that. But all these constant talks struck a cord. I lose sleep over it and it’s been bothering me, constantly. It’s consuming me. And I know in my heart and mind that I CANNOT AND WILL NOT LET THIS ONE GO. 

Why? Because I plan and think of MY KID’S FUTURE. I’m thinking 10 steps ahead… and my gut has been warning me that, THAT allegation will eventually come back to bite me in the ass and possibly haunt me or my kids ~ I can’t bear the thought of my kids ever questioning my love and intentions for them. THAT will break my heart and God forbid, shatter their hearts, completely. I won’t ever let THAT thought enter their minds because I’m nipping it in the bud, NOW.

I’m going to dissect, address and DESTORY those allegations, FULL ON….HEAD ON!!!!!!

 

Asher is already 5 years old, he understands and knows the basic concept of “work”, projects and values contracts plus commitments. He asks ALOT of questions, he demands and requires compensation and he actually has no filter in saying what he’s willing and not willing to do.

For those who have seen us in public, he sometimes asks me to take his video. One time Asher was with Daddy Carlo, “Daddy please take my video (referring to his golf swing). How come when mommy’s there she knows when to take my video so I can watch it over again?” Hahaha! Oh and btw, he asks to see/check the photos and videos I take of him before I post it. If he doesn’t like something, he says, “Mom, don’t post it. Please delete it. Can I see you delete it NOW please?! Let me see. Let me see.” Take note: He will check and make sure it was deleted. Again, this is information that goes on between US, not YOU. But since there are people sticking their nose in OUR business… here you go, I’m throwing this, IN YOUR FACE!

In the same vein that, if or when that day comes and Asher/Alana tells me to not include them in any of my social media posts, I WON’T. And I will RESPECT their decision and their right to privacy. Just like how I am with Danielle. For those that don’t know, my eldest is 14 years old. Don’t you rememeber what it was like to be a teenager? She has her OWN schedule, her OWN way of doing things and pretty much her OWN life. I ask her when she’s free to hang with us. I ask her for permission every time I include her in a public post because she has her OWN account, has a very specific way of doing things and posts on her own.

But until Asher and Alana are old enough to make their OWN decisions, have their OWN social media accounts… and have their OWN life/schedule ~ we will continue to adapt and grow, TOGETHER. Oh and incase you didn’t get the memo: I am THEIR guardian. I am their MOTHER. And I am fully accountable and take full responsibility of THEIR LIFE. And in the end, I am answerable to THEM, God and NO ONE ELSE. I need to remind you, Asher is 5 years old. Alana is 17 months. I make time to pick Asher up from school (more often than not) and in Alana’s case, I GO with her to class. Most often then not, I attend Asher’s extra curricular actives from Golf, Tennis, Taekwando, Swimming, Violin, Street Dancing and all the other activities we’ve enrolled him in. I sit there, watch him, work and WAIT. My husband and I never just “send” our kids to a children’s party or playdate without one of us being within the area. It’s for their security, OUR piece of mind and simply, OUR way of doing things. And if Asher & Alana’s sleeping schedules permit, they’re not tired OR doesn’t have any activities, I bring them with me as I do errands, go to meetings and even to “WORK”! What’s wrong with that? It works for us. To each his own, right?!

Note: My yaya’s are here to ASSIST us. At the end of the day, I am PRESENT, I DISCIPLINE and my husband and I PARENT, our kids!!!

So this is where I say, “SHUT UP, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND FOCUS ON YOUR OWN KIDS… and go F*….. uhhhmm, FIX YOURSELF!”.

Sometimes I think Asher is an old man trapped in a little boy’s body. He just seems to observe, understand and analyze things differently. He has a completely different perspective of the world and life. Somewhere deep down inside, we feel and know it: He’s an old WISE soul. Note: Just like his daddy Carlo. Haha!

On our (me + husband) end, we are proactive and aware. We have actively consulted with a professional to guide us through Asher’s development and enlighten us on the BEST steps for his progress. We are making a conscious effort to balance everything so that Asher can thrive and reach his full potential yet still enjoy the carefree life of being a child and have fun!

The only difference is….

Asher’s a young BOY enjoying all the perks of a more established ADULT… benefits, network and endless opportunities.

 

Who’s to really say if you’re giving a child too much too soon. Or on the other end, too little, too late? We will never know really because as we know, “different strokes for different folks”. You need to do what YOU think you need to do. And remember: that little human being, their life, their future is in YOUR hands… until they are wise enough to make their own decisions.

From one mother to another.  I’m going to break this down, share my experiences and state the facts to prove that:

“I, a Mommy Blogger, have no intentions whatsoever to exploit or extort my child!”

I’m not trying to be arrogant, but, this is another way of looking at things… MY TRAIL OF THOUGHT at least. I’m going to turn that statement around and ask YOU, “What are YOU doing to prepare YOUR child for the future? You think getting them to college is ENOUGH? Do you think giving them an Ivy League education is ENOUGH?

If you’ve thought about this long, hard and far enough, you’d be smart enough to know that, in this day and age, NO. IT’S NOT ENOUGH!!!

A college degree, an Ivy League education. Ha! Sorry, it can “help” but WAKE UP. Welcome to the REAL world, THAT WON’T CUT IT! Plus, there are so many people who have graduated from some of the world’s most prestigious schools and they’re still unemployed, under paid, living off their parents and/or are unhappy with the careers. And even worst, God help them ~ EMPTY!

Do you think that after you raise your child from being a baby to a young adult, they graduate from school (with honors)…. your job as a parent is DONE??

Well, think again. My parents had to learn the hard way, IT’S NOT. In fact, that is when the REAL work begins. That is the time that those training wheels come off…. do you fall or ride? Sink or swim?

I’m sure a lot of older parents can say the same too. After graduating college is when the REAL struggles, challenges and ADULT problems start.

Seriously? DUUUDE. Trust me. After what I put my parents through ~ getting me through High School… they deserved a medal. Plus they were on panic mode with me all throughout college ~getting pregnant before graduating or before getting married wasn’t part of THE PLAN. In fact, my mom blatantly told me. The three deal breakers that will break her heart and kill her young is if any of her kids do the following:

(1) Get pregnant before graduating and/or before marriage.

(2) Experiment with drugs.

(3) Sleep or have an affair with a married man.

SH*T… I hit 2 out of the 3 clauses/deal breakers. I wonder what she was thinking??? haha! Mom… I’ll say it for you because you were probably thinking it, “OMG. I have a child from hell! What do I do with her???” hahaha! Side story: I clearly remember walking into my parents room one day. It was mid afternoon and I see my mom in bed with a Rosary and Novena to St. Martin De Porres in her hand. I said, “Oh wow, Mom. You’re praying in the afternoon?” She responds to me, “Yes. I have to. I’m praying for your sins. I’m praying for YOUR SOUL!!!!!” hahaha! Oh gosh.. I will never. ever. forget THAT!

Oh and for the record, I only did #1 Pregnant, OBVIOUSLY. and #2 Drugs, been there, done that. Come on, I’m not a saint. hahahaha. If I ever touch #3, which I won’t, EVER. Just, SHOOT ME!!!

But WOW. What a feat! But to tell you frankly, THAT was the easy part. My parents had so much more to deal with AFTER that. YIKES!!!

YES. Reality bites! So after preparing a child for over a decade for one of biggest milestones of their life, COLLEGE. The million dollar questions is: WHAT’S NEXT???? What happens after graduating college? No job. And seriously, I had literally no work experience, I didn’t do nor know squat. I lived my life in the fast lane: shopping, partying and spending my parents (and grandparents) money. I didn’t know the first thing about earning my own money much less have any real responsibility. Work to me was learning how to put my own gas in my car, doing my laundry, vacuuming and figuring out how to put a freakin’ duvet on. That was MY concept of HARD work. I had completely no direction or any idea what I was going to do or wanted to do with my life. When I got back to Manila, I was just hanging around Manila Polo Club the WHOLE DAY… getting massages, going to the parlor, gym and taking various classes and/or I was out of town or the country with friends. I was pretty lost for awhile. Plus, not to mention, COMPLETELY USELESS. I brought nothing to the table and was dead space. Crap.

I thought to myself, all my life, the goal was to go, get a degree and finish college. I’m done with school. Ok, so now what?? OMG plus I’m responsible for the future of another life. I’m a kid with a kid. Sh*t, I’m in trouble. We’re both screwed, Danielle!!!!!!!

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. Reality check please!!!

I remember during my graduation, our dean said towards the end of his speech, “WOW. You guys made it. You guys finally did it. You worked your way through school and you’re finally bringing home that diploma. Congratulations graduates! Because starting today, you are officially, an UNEMPLOYED……ADULT!!!”

In my head: Hahahaha! Puñyeta!!! Yeah, he’s RIGHT!!!! Hassle. OMG. What’s next??? THIS SH*T JUST GOT REAL. I had so much fun being a kid. I DON’T WANT TO BECOME AN ADULT!!!! I’m not prepared for this…………………………

And that’s where I come in. THAT’s the gap that I’m trying to fill and bridge as early as NOW. Because to tell you honestly, I f*cked up my whole high school, I worked my ass off through college (with a baby)…. graduated with honors… I have several degrees under my belt and then what????? I shifted careers every 2-3 years coz I didn’t know what the hell I wanted to do. My mom calls me a PROFESSIONAL STUDENT.

Why? Because I get bored with my job and I just keep going back to school. I love “collecting ” degrees… DAW. Hahaha! OMG. And as for my talents, I’m a jack of all trades…. a master of NONE!


Thanks Dad & Mom for loving me unconditionally, for slapping me silly…or more like, KICKING MY ASS  to put me back on track, all the time. My kids, your grandkids will eventually appreciate everything too (esp my husband. Haha!). I’m forever grateful and blessed to have parents like you. Love you guys!!!

And I’m sure this holds true for all: Parents will always want the BEST for their kids. They will always want the next generation to be BETTER. My parents moved mountains and took on storms (more like Tsumamis) to keep me in check. I wouldn’t have survived, if not for their love, patience and TOUGH LOVE. I never understood it then, but I thank them and owe them for whipping me to shape up. And really at the end of it all, a mother will always do what she thinks/feels is best for HER child.

And THAT’S why as early as NOW, I feel that it’s important to expose my children to REAL life. Train them for the REAL WORLD while having fun. Take note: My kids still get to enjoy a very carefree and fun life of playing and being their age. The only difference with their childhood is we have to compete with gadgets/electronics. Plus, I make a conscious effort to make sure that they’re more aware of everything going on around them. It’s really all about trying to find that BALANCE!!!

Keep in mind, I’m am very well aware that my kids will be reading this self confession. In fact, I’ve asked Danielle to read it too. Personally, I don’t believe in sugar coating things or hiding things from my kids. They can ask us anything. I tell them everything they want to know or what I feel is important for them to know!!! I even sometimes curse in front of them.. which I’m really am TRYING to stop, btw. For me, I feel they need to know what I’ve done and been through so that they’re AWARE and won’t let history repeat itself.

WHY??? I’m not as crazy as you might think I am because I really do have my own logical reasons. And here’s why. This is MY secret, MY personal guide through life: I do this because I want my kids to understand me. If they understand their roots, it will be easier for them to figure out themselves. I want them to see life for what it is and not the bubble that they’re comfortably living in. I want them to know that we all are flawed but we also have the power to improve. They need to realize that making mistakes and failing is a BIG part of life. But the lessons learned will only make them better, wiser and stronger.

For my family: My husband is gearing our kids up for school since he’s always been a good kid, never gave his parents any problems… he’s always been an exceptional student and is equipped with an Ivy League education. As for me, my role is to discipline, prepare/guide and teach our kids how to survive, LIFE. Bottom line: we make our efforts engaging and tailor fit it to each child.

I want my kids to explore, learn and figure out what they like…. and love to do. I want them to sing like no ones listening, dance like no one’s watching and laugh like there’s no tomorrow. I want them to learn yet have fun. I want them to discover what their talents are. Nurture their strengths. Work on their weaknesses. I want them to make beautiful, glorious, amazing mistakes and learn from them. And most importantly, I want them to find their SPARK!!!

Learning how to work hard, discipline and skill. Sus. That’s easy. You learn that through everyday experiences!

I want to know what makes them TICK. What is their dream? What makes them happy? What is their PASSION!!!!!

Frankly, I just got lucky. For those that don’t know, I actually stumbled upon my current profession as a “Blogger”. I created a website because I needed a platform to promote my Interior Design projects and still express my passion, which is fashion. But ironically, I fell in love with blogging. Plus, I’m not going to deny that I’m making more money from just being ME. At first, my blog and social media accounts were focused on fashion, beauty, lifestyle and Interior Design because that’s the only side of me that I wanted to share. But then I got myself pregnant, again…ü

I managed to stick to “that side” of me for a significant amount of time. But eventually, I wasn’t comfortable taking fashion/beauty photos because I felt ugly and I looked as big as a whale. So I stopped. I was on sabbatical, took a break from blogging and myself. I needed time to figure out what I was going to do, how much information I was willing to share and which direction I was going to take. I knew that I couldn’t write and share stories that weren’t REAL. And THAT is when it hit me. I decided to adjust, adapt and EMBRACE the most relevant state of my life, which was being a mom. Mind you, at first, I refused to call myself a “Mommy Blogger”. Ask any of my millennial blogger friends. hahaha! I used to cringe at the sound of being so open and public about being, “Mommy”. I wanted to stay and stick to my first love, fashion. I would go as far as kid’s fashion, #AsherStyle. But I wouldn’t touch on anything really deep and those posts definitely had no meat.

BUT… after I had Alana, I decided to eat, sleep, breathe and LIVE being a Mom. I jumped in, ALL IN and decided to share MY LIFE for what it was… who I was, a blogger… a mommy… and a woman who loves to fashion and STUFF. I’d share more about my married life BUT even I think that those moments are private and sacred. So yes, I’ve come around full circle and papanindigan ko, I’m officially a “Mommy Blogger”….with a deep passion for fashion and style. ALWAYS!

I’m very fortunate to have discovered a career that pays me to be ME -and- in the process, I am able to incorporate my kids. And to tell you honestly, I still would have been posting the things I post whether or not I was paid, especially my kids + fashion. Again, they’re with me, ALL THE TIME. I guess the only real difference is now that I’m considered to be a “public” personality, some posts we get paid and it’s those posts that have a certain schedule. Think of the “sponsored posts” as COMMISSIONED ART. It’s ME… ALL ME…. and I’m merely interpreting a particular product or brand but with MY take on it. And just like a true artist, if I don’t feel it or believe in it, I won’t do it nor post it! haha! No pun intended, but it’s true, I select, reject… and know what to drop. And this goes with life too!

But really, for me (and possibly other mommy bloggers too), I have found a path (and career) that allows me to evolve, constantly. Blogging & documenting my life helps me remember. It makes me reflect. And at the end of the day, it inspires me to work on becoming a better version of myself, all the time.

I can’t give, what I don’t have. I refuse to lose my sense of SELF!!!

I have never felt better about myself and my life (with kids). I currently manage my own time – I can do my work stuff and still attend most of my kid’s activities and pick them up from school, I have the luxury to be able to spend a lot of my time with husband (We’re ALWAYS together but he choses not to be in most photos. And I respect that!), I share/connect/inspire people -globally… I have the power to choose my commitments AND most importantly:

I can bring my kids with me to work. I can incorporate them in my daily life while we ALL get paid ~ we make a fairly decent amount of money while learning and just doing what we do best, enjoying our life by being OURSELVES. We get to try the latest and coolest things. We get to travel and experience new places. Plus we have the honor to be one of the firsts to share experiences and information with the world. Oh and the best part?? We have a pretty solid platform to give back AND a voice loud enough to actually make a difference!!! And at the end of it all…. WE’RE JUST HAVING FUN!!!!!!  *Sucker Punch* and this is where I say, “BOOOOOOYAH!!!”

Note: Usually, “work with kids” (if you can even call it work. haha!) entails playing, eating or just hanging around. Photos are captured in their element and at their most convenient time. And as for me, since Luxury European Designer clothes & shoes are sent to my kids for FREE from across the world, they’re free to play in the mud, do whatever they want and get those Gucci’s dirty. The more used, the better! And THAT is why brands love us. It’s REAL!!! It’s not an editorial na pang photo lang. It’s not taped on it’s soles coz it’s NOT a pullout that needs to be returned. It’s meant to be USED and ABUSED. It’s made with high quality materials and fine craftmanship. And as a blogger, before I endorse ANYTHING…. it is my job to TEST IT before I give MY HONEST OPINIONS & REVIEWS. Do you think I take a photo of it and just post it??? OMG. DIE! There’s no integrity there. I hate to disappoint you, but It doesn’t work that way, for me at least!!! 😏

More importantly, my kids are comfortable, brands are happy and I’m so proud because my kids look good and are playing ~in style. Why is THAT an issue? Have you tried running in Gucci or Tods loafers? The suede moccasins are extremely comfortable especially for kids. And frankly, why is THAT anyone’s problem? So what if my kids (or anyone else’s kid for that matter) goes to the park and makes a mess wearing designer clothes & shoes? Did YOU have to pay for it? Is it YOUR kid? Oh and really, at the end of the day, who doesn’t want FREE GIFTS from designers? Especially from Luxury European Designers.

Note: During the time that Asher was doing stuff for Gucci, he couldn’t even read. And until now, he still doesn’t know the difference between his Gucci loafers and H&M sneakers. He chooses things based on the color NOT brand. So what exactly is the problem??? You don’t see me commenting if you make your kids wear freakin’ Crocs. Sorry… I’ll wear Islanders and ANY other brand even if it’s from a tiangge or Divisoria BUUUUT I will never be caught dead in Crocs. No offense to those who like it. But personally, I won’t wear it, EVER!!! #JUSTSAYING #RESPECTOURDIFFERENCES

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You can read about my Bhuatan Trip here: BHUTAN.

Double Note: I went hiking up to Tiger’s Nest in Bhutan wearing ALL WHITE. Dirt, sweat and mud. Who cares????! Turn brown, smell like araw and enjoy it!!! Clothes and shoes are meant to be used, not kept kasi “sayang baka madumihan”. Personally, I use the stuff I buy instantly. WHY? Because to me I compute (in my head) “ROI” based on the number of times I use the item and number looks I can create. THAT is why I ONLY wear black and white. Not only is it timeless, BUT you can mix, match and REPEAT IT, effortlessly. SULIT!!! In English, “value for money.”

Personally, I feel that things are WASTED if it’s just stored in my closet in boxes with god forbid, plastics on, because “sayang and mahal”. I DON’T think that way. No matter how cheap or expensive an item is, I handle it the same way, with the same care, I really REALLY USE IT. I always keep in mind that it’s just stuff… it can be easily misplaced and replaced ~ I’ll just have to work harder. If you are ATTACHED to STUFF … then YOU HAVE A BIG PROBLEM. If you put so much value on an item based on it being “branded”/status VS the quality/craftmanship then YOU have a HUGE PROBLEM. That’s when you inject malice and on a deeper level, POISON MINDS especially of YOUNG CHILDREN!!! Remember: Stuff are meant to be used and abused. The better the quality, the longer you can use it. Hence, the longer you use it, the more SULIT and value for money it is.

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A very good example of how I value quality and comfort over a designer brand!!! If you’re watching my IG stories @catarambulo you will know that I’m VERY anal about my reviews. NOTE: Dr. KONG, WON over Chanel!!! I value my readers/followers aka IG friends and I have INTEGRITYDOUBLE NOTE: I discovered Dr, Kong through my mom, started posting it because I loved it and thought mom’s would appreciate it too. It’s only recently that the owners of Dr. Kong contacted me to be their official stylist (Aug 5, 2017)!!! This is AFTER all my posts.  My LOYALTY CANNOT BE BOUGHT! 

Life for me and MY kids is definitely NOT typical. But it works for us. Plus, for me, I think it’s pretty damn awesome. Technically, we hit 3 birds with one stone, equally. Or maybe even 4 birds since I make life so much easier for my husband too. hahaha!

After 36 years of pa “Pa bon-ging, bon-ging.” As my parents call it. It means… floating or bouncing around like a ping pong ball. Haha! I’ve finally found something that I LOVE to do plus I have my kids around me ALL THE TIME or at the very least MOST of the time!

The saying holds true, “If you do what you love, you’ll never have to work a day in your life!”

But I must admit I got VERY lucky, I’m extremely grateful and I feel so blessed. I prayed hard to find my purpose in life. I finally found something which I absolutely LOVE to do. Being able to share, connect and inspire people… while wearing the cutest outfits, FULFILLS ME!

Which leads me to my INTENTIONS and GOALS for MY KIDS:

I don’t want them to be “Pa bon-ging, bon-ging”. Go be a kid, enjoy a carefree life but have direction. I know way too many “Peter Pans” ~ the boy/girl who NEVER grew up. I was totally like that.. or maybe I still am. And if I can help it, I will do everything in my ability to guide my kids to live a purpose driven… fulfilled life while having fun. And most importantly I want Danielle, Asher and Alana to do what THEY love, makes them HAPPY while being able to monetize and live comfortably. If I can help them take an easier & quicker route, why not? Personally, I wasn’t give any shortcuts. I had to take the long route and learn the hard way. But if they can WAZE it, GO!!! I’ll fully support them.

I’m not trying to be an arrogant b*tch but I need to enumerate the facts to give you a better grasp of our current situation:
Asher is not an ordinary child. He’s certified to be gifted. He LOOOOOVES school, learning and sharing his knowledge. At his tender age, he is already a very well accomplished little human being and has already collaborated with some of the world’s largest companies and most prestigious brands under his belt. He has had meetings and has shaken hands with more Presidents of Companies/Country Managers/ Marketing Managers than I have in my life time. He is without a doubt, talented at his own right and wise beyond his years. He has his own following, his own “clout” and as people call it, influence.

In a nutshell, Asher can push a product and move the needle just by being HIMSELF. He is able to endorse products/brands with me doing the research, leg work & with Daddy’s full support, of course. His collaborations, network and “influence” that I have established through my blog and other social media platforms has taken him to great heights. Asher’s digital space and personality has presented many opportunities and has been opening so many doors for him, locally and globally. He has become his OWN brand. But he needs to finish school first. His education is still our top priority!

Note: He will NOT have his own IG account until I feel that he’s responsible enough to handle it on his own. So until then, you have to go through me and search for #AsherStyle.

So if THIS is what makes YOU believe or think that I (and other mommy bloggers) are exploiting and extorting my/our kids. Then it’s no longer my problem, it’s obviously and always has been, YOURS. Now I’ll ask you: Do you want to continue to compare kids and parenting styles? And do you still think that YOU know what’s best for MY child??? What can you bring to the table and do better for MY CHILD?????? NOTHING. You criticize but you CAN DO NOTHING. YOU KNOW NOTHING!!! Ha. Now, I rest my case. *Smirk, with matching head bop!”…. I’m flicking you now because again, NOT YOUR KID! Focus on YOURS.

I just have to add: It’s because of the power of social media that we’ve been able to connect with people and companies from all over the world. And simply said, do extraordinary things and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

TRUTH: Brands contact me on a daily basis to present opportunities and possible projects or collaborations with me and my kids. You can’t imagine how difficult it is for me to decide, select or reject brands to work with. I do a lot of research, I test and use EVERYTHING before I share anything on my social media platforms. I do the ALL the work, MYSELF. At the end of it all:

Our associations… my opinions, reviews and endorsement decisions are crucial.

Our name, authenticity and credibility is EVERYTHING. Each and every single decision, association and post can MAKE or BREAK us.

People don’t realize that a blogger/social media personality’s “influence” comes with a massive amount of social and PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and most importantly, ACCOUNTABILITY.

On the flipside, having “influence” makes us “Mommy Bloggers” a walking target to hate, bashing and criticism. Which in all honesty, doesn’t affect me, unless:

1) They do it on MY digital space. I will never allow anyone to disrespect me, my friends or family in MY HOUSE. My digital space is open for the public to enjoy but all I ask and expect is RESPECT.

2) I’m super open to constructive criticism. In fact, I embrace it because I always want to improve and become BETTER. Note: With severe emphasis on constructive!!! But once a comment is loaded, meant to be an insult and feels like a direct attack to me or anyone close to me, expect nothing less than for me to react and highly likely lash out too!

3) People are entitled to their opinions and comments. NO PROBLEM. But once a person starts making false accusations, allegations and damaging statements to intentionally destroy my reputation and/or my children’s -AND- it’s recorded, screenshots are captured, there are witnesses or cellphone messages that are available. Ah, well……  someone is accountable for that.

That in itself is what you call, incriminating evidence which is admissible in court. Have you heard of Libel, Slander, Defamation and CHARACTER ASSASINATION??? Well, I highly recommend that you, Google it.

Unlike traditional press, we bloggers and social media personalities are not protected/hiding behind a smoke screen. We don’t have a team of writers, photographers, graphic designers, an editor, etc. We handle and do everything ourselves. Companies, brands and people… even lawsuits will go directly to us and NOT a publication or company. For us bloggers, we’ve crossed that fine line of mixing business & personal. We are our company. We represent OURSELVES. In any way you spin it, OUR BUSINESS IS PERSONAL!

But MOMMY BLOGGERS, BLOGGERS & PERSONALITIES, just keep in mind, there are laws to protect us. USE IT!!!

Being on social media makes us, “public”. Yes. BUT it’s crazy how some people think that they have a right to bash us just because our social medial platform’s setting are on “public”.

“Public” Figures/Personalities sole being is based on reputation.

We, “Public” figures are responsible for our statements, content and the information we share. And WE ARE SOLEY LIABLE.

Just the same way, “Private” individuals are SOLELY ACCOUNTABLE for the things they say ESPECIALLY on messages, in public places and to other people. You can call them, friends or “friends”, “witnesses” or collateral damage. haha! You’re free to choose your own adventure.

Thoughts: Perks of being “PUBLIC”. We have friends + “friends” + IG friends, everywhere. They are our eyes and ears, everywhere. It’s so easy to record conversations and send them to us coz we’re “Public”. I’m going to be a total b*tch for saying this but, heads up: EVERYTHING is DIGITAL. Even KHARMA! hahaha! #JustSaying

Oh and FYI: Intentional false communication, either written or spoken, that harms a person’s reputation is punishable by law.

A blog post is minor until you’re slapped with a “PUBLIC” LAWSUIT!!!!

My advice: Choose your “FRIENDS” wisely. Or be smart, don’t say anything at all. But seriously, think about it, who of your “friends” do you think will be there when shit hits the fan. Who’s going to defend, much less fight for you? Let’s face it, when the REAL CONTROVERSY is there, I won’t be surprised if they drop you like a hot potato and hide like a coward. I bet my life savings that they will deny to death, rat you out and be the first to throw you under the bus to protect themselves. Sadly, I don’t know many people who are willing to stand their ground. Majority, play it “safe”, will be plasticly “diplomatic” and pretend to be neutral. Luckily, I do have a number of REAL FRIENDS that can blatantly tell me things straight, call me out on my sh*t — TO MY FACE…. and defend me behind my back. haha! #TRUTH

Back to social media, I think it’s crazy how some people feel they know me (and other social media personalities) based only on the things I/we post. Plus, I still can’t believe that there’s still that handful of people who are stupid enough to believe that I share EVERYTHING that goes on. Well, I hate to break it to everyone, I DON’T.

Take note, I don’t really curate, I just choose wisely (except on IG stories). I respect my family and some friends that want to remain private. In fact, I ask permission before I post if they’re included esp if I know that their privacy is sacred. I never post the faces of my kid’s classmates much less tag. And for those who keep asking me why I sometimes have my hand on Asher’s chest in my IG stories, it’s because I’m hiding the name on his uniform. And for those who keep asking why I don’t post my daughter Danielle as often as A&A, it’s because I RESPECT her privacy. She is old enough to decide, has her own life and has the power post what she wants, when she wants.

Bottom line, being “public” and on social media is a choice. It’s not for everyone! But it’s the path that I have chosen. Note: Husband & Daddy APPROVED.

For me and my kids,

THE WORLD HAS BECOME OUR PLAYGROUND!!!

And we have #ThePowerOfSocialMedia to thank for that.


For everyone who’s been following me since Asher was a baby, you KNOW that he eats…. sleeps, breathes and is fascinated by airplanes.

It’s an obsession which we thought he’d eventually outgrow. It’s been 5 years already. We tried our best to expose him to sport cars to fire trunks and everything else. NADA. He doesn’t even give it the time of day. It’s only Airplanes, helicopters and now space shuttles that can get that sparkle in his eyes. The whole concept of flying is no longer just an interest, it’s embedded in his DNA….. it’s his love, his PASSION.

And you know what I’ve realized recently,

Asher is not just following his dreams. HIS DREAMS ARE CHASING HIM!!!

 

After Captain’s post, I got a call from British Airways. They wanted to discuss possible opportunities and future collaborations with Asher and I.

It’s unlikely for a child to know what he/she really wants. It’s VERY rare for a child.. adult… and especially as a parent, to be presented with opportunities that will drastically change their children’s lives and future, instantly. This… ALL OF THIS… it’s NOT NORMAL. Even if blogging, sharing and connecting comes naturally to me, at the end of the day, it entails a lot of sleepless nights and WORK from my end. NORMAL PEOPLE shed blood, sweat and tears for YEARS to TRY and achieve not even a fraction of THESE OPPORTUNITES. If these opportunities were given to you, wouldn’t YOU take it???? To be honest, I don’t know how this all happened? And realistically, I don’t know how long all of this will last. But one thing’s for sure, I will take all the opportunities while we can, I will continue to do what I’m doing and will work even HARDER! At the end of the day: the sharing, connecting and inspiring people is PRICELESS. THAT is what makes me RICH!!!! It empowers me and fulfills me. And hopefully, my kids will eventually feel that too.

And this is where I come in. I want Asher and eventually Alana to realize that their early exposure to social media has given them a head start in life ~ the learning, being able to share, inspire and connect with people, locally and globally, is because our (me & my husband) decisions. Their “Mommy Bloggers” proactive link to social media paved the way for their future. Creating a digital space and making a name for them early on is my way of setting them up for life. Social media is connecting them to REAL people, not just cartoons. haha! They’re networking globally and they don’t even know it, YET. And really… when they see their bank accounts when they’re old enough to manage their own finances. Wow. Just WOW!!! They’re in for a treat!!!

This makes me think, at 5 years old:

1) What did you accomplish?
Me: Nothing. I was probably getting into trouble.

2) What is your greatest achievement?

Me: Bulding a house with the free playing cards from the airplane.

3) How many lives have you touched or inspired?

Me: Hmmm… my parents and grandparents. Haha!

4) How much money have you saved in the bank from birthday and Christmas gifts?

Me: I didn’t have a bank account at 5 years old. I had a piggy bank with quarters. I had a Hello Kitty wallet with a few dollars. Ummm, probably less than $100.

5. What do you want to be when you grow up?Me: A doctor. A teacher. Oh noh, a cashier at a supermarket coz I liked their long stick-on plastics nails. Or actually, I don’t know.

And really….. after 30 years…. if you asked me what I wanted to do when I grow up, I’d say….. Honestly, I still don’t know! I just like creating stuff and I enjoy the challenge of making money. Plus I love sharing, connecting and collaborating. Hopefully I can continue to inspire people and somehow make a difference in my OWN way. Let’s see…


Photo shows a Kelly not Birkin. The photo is for effects only!

Another side story: A few weeks ago. We bumped into this “friend”. Out of no where she says to Asher, “You have no work today? Make me libre naman. You have so much work. How nice your mom’s bag. It’s very expensive (referring to my Birkin). Didn’t you know she bought that with YOUR money? Can you buy me a bag too?? Come on. Make me libre!— Asher was just staring at her the whole time while she was having her own monologue. I was just staring at her too and for the first time, lifeless and BLANK.

I couldn’t absorb what she was saying. I couldn’t seem to get my thoughts together fast enough. All I said was: Excuse me, I can buy my own bags and afford myself. Asher’s finances is handled by his dad. He’s a math person, finance guy and a CFO. Not me. I hate math. Basta I know I make more than I spend. But hello… I don’t touch anyone else’s money, except mine. Even our joint accounts, I don’t touch!

In my head: All I wanted to do was slug her and throw my Birkin at her face. Really? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? What kind of person talks that way to another person’s child??? Or to anyone at that. OMFG. You’re poisoning my child’s mind. You’re THE devil. 

In my heart: I felt like my child was abused/raped in front of me but I was too shocked to do anything. OMG!!!

In hindsight, do you guys think she meant it as a joke? In her own sick, deluded and insecure mind. OR is she really pure evil, malicious and just F*UP? You can’t imagine what is going through my head about her now… OMG. Cringe.

And get this. She’s attempting to become a blogger AND trying to make a name for herself in the whole social media world. In fact, she posts photos of her kids and is on “public”. And you know what, I would even help her, regularly. I’ve been actively trying to connect her with the brands I’m working with. WTF right?! She REALLY is SOMETHING.

In my head….hmmmm… fine… since I’m on the topic, I might as well say it out loud: She isn’t any better than what she paints me to be. The only difference between me and her, is:

  1. 1) ME: I’m always with my kids.
  2. HER: She openly says it, she just leaves her kids at home with each other, their yaya and/or dad. So no I’m not judging or pulling this information off trees. #FACT
  3. 2.) HER: She posts her kids on social media. PUBLIC ACCOUNT for everyone to see. But her kids nor is she really offered anything. I heard from the grapevine that she loves to pitch and practically sell her services to brands/companies. hahaha! #NOTMYFAULT
  4. ME: I’ve been a PUBLIC ACCOUNT and have been posting photos my kids EVEN BEFORE we started getting projects. And honestly, I would STILL post and be “PUBLIC” REGARDLESS of whether it’s a sponsored post or not. Personally, I see nothing wrong with it. I’m comfortable with myself, proud of my family/kids and I just love sharing. I LOVE documenting our OOTDs because I heart fashion. And btw, the information I/anyone puts in social media is under a person’s FULL CONTROL.
  5. The DIFFERENCE: I am/we are OFFERED projects and campaigns, regularly. And YES, there are brands and companies that pay us to post. #TRUTH
  6. Question: If a brand that you REALLY love and use asks to “collaborate” and offers to pay you to post… with, take note: I REQUIRE FULL ARTISTIC & CREATIVE APPROACH. You won’t do it? Haha! Huwag na tayo mag bolahan. Come on press people… even everyone who attends events. EVERYONE WANTS FREE STUFF!!!!!!! Including me.

Note: It’s not like I’m going around pitching to brands, making myself/kids “ALOK” or am I making my kids go on a set, wake up early or stay out late to WORK. I don’t need to, I won’t allow them too. Plus, my husband will KILL ME. haha! For the record, all my/our projects, campaigns and the brands I/we work with have APPROACHED ME. I choose and will NOT let my kids do a project that makes them feel like it’s WORK. Most often than not, I’m the one taking the photo because they’re just PLAYING in their element. In fact, my husband and I have turned down commercial offers BECAUSE I know the business, THAT entails REAL WORK. We don’t want them to lose focus on school and still have a relatively “normal” life. I have nothing against other families/parents that do that… but THAT is not for us. Again, to each his own! #RESPECTOURDIFFERENCES

  1. 3) All this hullabaloo made me realize that I really do have loyal friends, REAL social media supporters -AND- campaigns, projects plus REAL work. As for her. NO COMMENT. She was the one ratted out by her “friends” and is pitching/selling herself. I even bought into her “pitch” coz I was stupid enough to help her. FOR FREE. Dapat tinulog ko nalang yun. haha!
  2. Yes, this has brought out the worst in me. THE b*itch is out. Bark at me and my kids, I’ll BITE YOU.

Again, another quotable quote that I live by, “I’d rather be hated for who I am, than to be loved for what I am not!”. I eat, sleep and breathe this. I will die living this!

Bottom line: People should look in the mirror before they judge another person. People should really start RESPECTING OUR DIFFERENCES. Or simply, know your place. THAT LINE, don’t cross it! Try to put yourself in that person’s shoes before saying anything offensive, disrespectful and below the belt -OR- be prepared to get kicked, HARD!!!

And you know what’s even worst and more painful, I THOUGHT she was a friend. In fact, I’ve been helping and supporting her in all of her endeavors. I have never uttered a peep nor have I ever had a negative thought about her, EVER until recently. Sad sad sad. But you know, God really works in mysterious ways. Because before I started writing this story, a few common friends -and- her “friend” told/warned me that she’s been stirring so much sh*t about me (and other people too) for a very long time already. The problem with me, I get so caught up in everything that I’m doing that most often than not, I’m TOTALLY clueless and oblivious to the things being done and said about me… and around me. Note: These people completely had no idea about this Birkin incident.

I guess it’s really God’s way of telling me to WAKE UP. To be more aware of the people around me & my children. Note to SELF: Never underestimate or overestimate people. Manage expectations! Oh Manila peeps, when will you ever learn??? Eventually, the TRUTH will come out. Hasn’t anyone ever learned that there are NO SECRETS in this town??? TRUTH: I got myself stuck in some incidents similar to this too.. which is why, I’ve learned to just shut up, shut out and FOCUS on MY faults and flaws and figuring out way that I can improve MYSELF. That way, you never lift YOURSELF UP by pulling another PERSON DOWN!

Although, in hindsight, I should’ve known better. Because even when I THOUGHT she was a friend, a good friend at that, she would always have some crass, sarcastic or negative comment about other people. Lesson learned: If your “friend” is stirring or saying sh*t about another person, chances are, they’re doing the same thing to you too. It’s horrifying and absolutely heartbreaking! Choose and EDIT well.

And, THAT is when I knew it was time. Time for me to MAKE A STAND and speak up on this matter once and for all. I’m definitely not going to allow anyone to take away these moments from me and my children. I will not have people with big mouths, small brains and narrow minds to taint my children. I’ve gone too far and worked way too hard to let reckless and insecure people get in the way. And I’m prepared to stand my ground, fight this fight and defend myself as a blogger, mother …. and a woman who lives and will die for her kids.

To my Danielle: I’m so sorry, I wasn’t able to give you the same opportunities… we didn’t have social media back in the day plus your school is so strict. And yes, I respect your personal space and privacy. But don’t worry… I’m paving the way, Daddy & I are setting you up… we’re just taking a different route with you.

To my kids, Danielle, Asher & Alana: I’m literally scrambling to give the BEST of everything in my ability. It is my dream for you to live a happy, balanced and fulfilled life. But you need to have a strong foundation, know yourself and BE YOURELF. And the only way I know how to help you discover YOU is to guide you, to give you all the real life experiences and opportunities possible. Opportunities to discover your passions, know your strengths and we work on your weaknesses, together. And most importantly, I want you to make amazing, glorious and fantastic mistakes. Don’t be scared to break some rules and FAIL. I will hold your hand when you need me to, and I will let you fly when YOU tell me that you’re ready. Don’t let anyone… ANYONE… bring you down!!!!

P.S. Be kind and compassionate. But don’t be a push over. In life, you will meet a lot of different characters. Respect their differences. Make “pakisama” but you also have to know how and when to defend yourself.

Mental note: Make them read, The Art of War. Hahaha!✌🏻

To my Mommy Blogger Friends: NEVER let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. NEVER let anyone tell you what you should and should not do with YOUR child. Talk is cheap! At the end of the day… YOU know what’s best for YOUR child. And remember, just because we’re “public” doesn’t mean anyone has the right to bash you or your kids. Know your RIGHTS!

An IG comment or blog post is nothing if you slap them with a LAWSUIT!!! We are PROTECTED!!! Use it and DO IT if you have to

My message to everyone else: 

Please don’t make parenting and raising a child harder and more complicated than it already is. We should all support and “Grow Together as Parents” ala The Parenting Emporium, one of the best parenting support groups in Manila. Follow them here: The Parenting Emporium. See how this parenting community brings people together and NOT tear them apart.

Once we start accepting or at the very least RESPECT our differences, the sooner we can live in PEACE. We all have different goals, paths/routes and various reasons for doing things. But at the end of the day, we choose our OWN direction and make our OWN future. There’s no right or wrong way, enjoy YOUR ride and embrace it.

And to those who question or have questioned the intention & direction of “Mommy Bloggers” and their social media kids: Who are you again? What relationship do have with me or my kids? Why does what we choose to do with OUR life and kids affect you? Please stop stalking us and just “UNFOLLOW”.

I have a brilliant idea. Why don’t you FOCUS on yourself and your OWN child. Why don’t you try to do something more positive and productive with your time? Bashing, hating and hurting another person won’t make you any better. Didn’t YOUR PARENTS ever teach you the GOLDEN RULE??? “If you have nothing nice to say about another person, then don’t say it at all.”

Most mommy bloggers are here as a support group. We share information, connect with people locally and globally, we make a difference and have the ability to inspire. We are here to help moms and soon to be moms make their journey through motherhood easier, happier. Raising a child and running a household can drive a mother crazy. What’s wrong with a mom who chooses to work (blog), run her household and still be there to raise her kids? Having a blog as a platform to do ALL is EMPOWERING.

And really…. if you have time to judge and criticize the way other people raise their child, you’re not doing yours right!!! You have a lot of work to do on YOURSELF. FOCUS!!!

But before you do, check out the blogs of other Mom’s who have been going through the same thing.

Maggie Wilson-Consunji: Click here, http://www.haute-affair.com/mom-shaming/ and http://www.haute-affair.com/my-two-cents/

Mommy Fleur: Click here, http://mommyfleur.com/2017/07/30/stop-the-mom-shaming/

Ladies, you are NOT alone!!! We have the power to turn this around, shed some light… HELP & SUPPORT one another.

Every time, I have the urge to comment about another person’s decisions, I remind myself that we are all human. We are ALL flawed, imperfect and have our OWN life journey ~ embrace it and enjoy YOUR ride.

Here’s another one of my favorite quotes:

quote

Think about that the next time you’re tempted to judge/criticize someone else and their decisions. For me, it rewires my brain, aligns my thoughts and shuts me up. TRY IT!

On a lighter and better note: A US company recently booked me Q4 to talk about #ThePowerOfSocialMedia and #BrandBuilding. I’m hoping and trying to loop in the Philippines for this project.

But nevertheless, if you want to connect and learn more, I’d be happy to answer your questions at cyaantonio@gmail.com or to my regular readers, you guys know the drill… DM me on IG.

Til my next post… remember this:

“You cannot give what you don’t have. NEVER lose your sense of SELF! Make a stand. Have dreams, make plans and achieve your goals. Find your purpose in life! You were only give one life to live. LIVE & FULFILL IT WELL!!!”

Hugs,

P.S. I refuse to have a “ghost writer” or an editor for any of my posts. Everything comes straight from my mind, heart and SOUL. I write and represent MYSELF!!! In case you haven’t noticed. haha! So PLEASE be a little more forgiving about spelling and grammar on all posts. These minor things are the least of my concerns. I just want to get my thoughts out and off my chest, deliver my message and let the world deal with it so I can sleep again.

Follow my IG @catarambulo and watch my IG stories for real time updates. GOOD VIBES ONLY PLEASE!!!!

Oh and to add, this just came in. It’s the perfect validation to everything I practice and preach. Straight from a PROFESSIONAL.


Always remember, “You cannot give from a place of depletion. The best gift you can give your kids is to give to yourself first. Say YES to yourself, yes to your passions, your dreams!”

Focus. Focus. FOCUS!

- Cat Arambulo-Antonio

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Categories: Motherhood, Uncategorized

  • http://www.catarambulo.com Cat Arambulo

    I absolutely agree with you. 💯 %

  • Aissa T. Ybanez

    Hi, Cat.

    This entry made me cry, especially your letters to your children. I’ve been emotional lately since my only child, my daughter, will be 18 in a year and will be going off to college. LOL

    A few months back, I had to accompany my daughter to an event at the church and to while away the time, I decided to have a mani-pedi at Tips and Toes in San Antonio Arcade. There was a lady there before me. I didn’t know at first that it was you. You were hidden at the very last chair. All I could hear was somebody saying “thank you” every five minutes, I think. I remember telling myself that the lady beside me was very kind and well mannered. And very kind. And then you stood up to pay and I couldn’t believe when I saw you. I’m sorry but when I first saw your blog, I thought that you were one of those rich people who were matapobre and standoffish. Sorry talaga!!! So so sorry for judging you. I was so touched by the way you treated the nail specialists assigned to you. I was trying so hard not to stare at you the whole time you were paying.

    I’ve followed you on IG since then. And I can say that my impression of you that day in the nail salon that you were a kind person is correct.

    Thank you for sharing your life with us. I learn a lot and your videos ALWAYS make me smile. Oh, and I enjoy your and your daughter’s rendition of “Do you know the muffin man.” Never fails to make me smile.

    • Cat Arambulo-Antonio

      Aaaaawww this is so sweet. Yes, I absolutely know how you feel. I always remember what my parents told me, “You’ll only realize our importance once you become a parent yourself.” ~ I live this everyday. It’s the tough, challenging yet soooo fulfilling at the same time, right?! My eldest hasn’t moved out yet for college, yet I’m feeling it already too. Excited yet sad at the same time too. It’s probably exactly how my parents felt when I left. hmmmmm or maybe they were relived? hahaha! Let me get back to you on that 😂

      RE: Tips and Toes. Yay! I love!!! Yes, generally I’m super nice naman… I’m not perfect BUT as much as possible I TRY to be kind and open minded about people. I don’t judge because trust me… I’ve been fighting to be ME, my whole life and I know what it’s like to be the one crucified. I don’t wish it on anyone.

      And ME. OMG… matapobre??? I will sit, eat and hang with anyone. I just don’t like negative people. At the end of the day, you get what you give. And really, it’s easier to be happy and nice than to be a total snobbish b*tch pretending to be better than everyone else. hahaha! Need to be ground all the time. Life is like a wheel, sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down.

      Thank you for following me and for the support. This message means a lot to me! If you see me around, please don’t be a stranger.

      Hugs!!!

  • Relyd

    Wow!!!! I see so much energy was put in….I was actually exhausted!!!first of all let’s define Exploitation: the action or fact of treating someone unfairly in order to benefit from their work. 2. Extorting: obtain ( something) by force, threats,or other unfair means…Some people do things because their insecure, jealous, unproductive, ignorant and have “crab mentality”…then I rest this case…luv you😍😍😘

    • Cat Arambulo-Antonio

      Aaaaaaaw thank you. I absolutely agree. I just needed to upload this and get this information out there. Back to regular programming!!! Happy happy!!! 😊 😁 😌 Thanks for the support!!!

    • http://www.catarambulo.com Cat Arambulo

      Sorry I just saw these messages now. And yes, it’s exhausting and consuming. Waaaaah! But I absolutely agree with you. I guess we really can’t people who are narrow minded. Sad sad sad. But on a happy note, to each is own. Do whatever makes us happy. Right? love you too!

  • danica chua

    I do not get our culture where everyone loves to criticize others. And yet we claim that we are the friendliest and most hospitable people.

    Saw this quote on Pinterest– “INSULTS are the last resort of INSECURE people with a crumbling position trying to appear confident.”

    If people doesn’t like what they see, they are free to click the unfollow button. What’s up with all the hate and negativity? I know, I know, some will say that you are a public figure and you should be able to handle criticisms / negativity but what if the tables were turned / roles reversed? I’m sure they wouldn’t be able to survive it.

    • http://www.catarambulo.com Cat Arambulo

      You know what… you’re absolutely right. Things are always easier said than done. It’s easy to judge from a distance but if they were in that person’s shoes, I guarantee that they’d fall the first step. How I wish that everyone can just support and uplift one another. It’s actually harder to hate than to just love and be happy… don’t you think? haha!

  • Jo

    I just don’t get why the ugali of jealousy and criticizing others is still a fad in the Philippines. Parenting doesn’t have rules. Exploitation has a definition in child labor laws. These ppl need to look it up.

    That article was mediocre and poorly written. I mean c’mon, why hide. You wasted a page of a newspaper for an ugly article.

    Cat, if I were you, I’d use that page to make balot Alana’s diapers with poop because it’s worth throwing in the garbage. Hahahahaha. OMG I KNOW YOU’RE LAUGHING NA NAMAN.

    Laban naman fair and square, inquirerdotnet hahahaha. C’mon don’t be shy. It’ll be fun to get sued.

    And also, like what the bible says, before picking on someone else’s dirt in the eye, better check yours first.

    Hi Cat, it’s @purplestarrr87 😁👌🏻😘😘😘

    • http://www.catarambulo.com Cat Arambulo

      OMMMMMMMMG. I just saw this comment now. You made my night. I’m literally rolling on my bed in stitches. hahaha! And yes, I don’t get why people need to criticize others when they themselves are most likely far from being perfect. haaaaaaay!!! On a lighter note: hahaha! Sayang…. ang Pamper’s Premium Care.😜

  • Charisse Kay Villegas

    This issue actually hurt my “mommy-blogger” side since I myself created an IG account for my daughter featuring mostly her OOTDs. It hurts to hear people say (although not directly towards me since we are not that famous) but still, to say that mommy bloggers are exploiting and/or extorting their kids. Ouch!!! Yes, I admit to have and always been aspiring for my kid to be a professional blogger “in the future” and I felt giddy everytime we receive FREE items or GC’s from IG shops and some brands, but it’s only because I want my daughter to have an opportunity “someday” or in the future if I start her young and make a name for her as early as now (she’s 5 years old by the way) and not because I am trying to exploit or extort using my kid since I am a professional myself (a lawyer by profession). But as a mother, I only want the best for her and I have only good intentions for her. I feel so proud and overwhelmed when she’s noticed and admired by other people, who wouldn’t by the way? #hypocrites! Who doesn’t want freebies, who wouldn’t feel giddy and elated when you see your child in the runway or being featured in some articles in magazine? I absolutely feel you Ms. Cat, this is so insulting and it really hurts when other people judge and doubt your love and intention for your kids. That person who’s trash talking against you is 100% evil and insecure. She’s bitter and pathetic maybe because she’s trying hard but cannot reach what you and your kids have. Your kids are beyond blessed to have you and your husband as their parents. You inspire a lot so please continue what you are doing because we are so looking up to you. And I admire you more for being strong, standing and speaking up against this issue. More powers to you Ms. Cat! More blessing will come along your way because you’re REAL and INSPIRING. We have so much love for you! -Charisse of @sheikha_bella :)

    • http://www.catarambulo.com Cat Arambulo

      It was great meeting you today. We have so much more to live for, be proud of and enjoy in life. Let’s continue to use our passion for fashion and love for our kids to take them to great heights to achieve their dream and make a difference in this crazy world. Sending you love, hugs and good vibes… always!!!! mwah mwah mwah!

    • http://www.catarambulo.com Cat Arambulo

      And yes, look at our kids. I believe and know if my heart and mind that we are on the right track. See you again soon! :)

  • Malen

    Hi Cat! I’m not a mommy nor do I have any plans of being one (I choose to make my mother my child. Hahaha. Trying to spoil and care for her and my older sis is what I’ve decided to do) but what the heck?! I just spent a good amount of time reading your blog about this on-going and negative topic!! I’m guilty for the times I hated parents who ignore their kids while they throw tantrums in public places. Thank you for reminding me not to judge eh ako nga walang balak magka-anak what do I know how to raise a child pa?! Soooo yes, even if you’re not a parent or a mother, you’ll pick up a few things from that post. I admire you for being true to yourself and omg I envy you for the opportunities that come your way. I hope and pray that one day I get to do what I love na din and stop feeling like I’m slaving away and enjoy everyday while still earning for my family. 😊Weird ba to say that your posts shouldn’t make other people feel negative or badly inggit but rather inspire and aspire to reach that level?? It’s so hard to remind people to look at things with a deeper perspective and not quickly judge or say things na wala namang basis/fact para lang may masabi. But again, situations like these, we are reminded na super daming tao sa mundo and iba-iba talaga tayo. I hope you continue what you do and your family especially your kids are beyond blessed to be given this “head start” on life. Dream ko mag lunch with you and chikka galore. Hahaha Stay happy and positive, Cat! 🎉😊

    • http://www.catarambulo.com Cat Arambulo

      Aaaaaaawww thank you for this message Malen. I hope I didn’t scare you for freak you out from having kids of your own. hahaha! But yes, my intentions and actions are born out of love. I don’t know why some people choose to see the negative when it’s actually so much easier and lighter to just think positive and be happy. You’re so sweet. Lunch or merienda, why not? Lets make it happen!!! Big hug, Hope to meet you soon :)